i haven't written in a day or two which is a significantly shorter hiatus than i usually take. I don't know why. I've felt somewhat listless and blah lately. Despite the gorgeous weather we're having in Seattle, I just kind of want to stay in and read or do something quiet.
i've had random thoughts in the past few days about food and people etc. but i haven't bothered to write about them. i started (i have a number of draft entries), but i never really felt like publishing them.
so here were a few things i've come up with:
i'm only 23 years old, i should not be in any hurry to get married or to have kids.
i get along best with people who are food & cat lovers. the former being more important than the latter.
when i'm in a quiet mood i don't like to be around crowds. in general i'm miserable company to keep when i'm in a quiet mood.
i'd rather pay for part of a plane ticket than have to drive down to the airport to redeem a free ticket. (i am just that lazy.)
gas prices are outrageous. i paid $2.08/gallon today. are they ever going to go down?
most of my expenses are on food & clothing. i need to stop spending so much money so I'm going to stick to eating in and not buying clothes. i have way too many clothes.
a full-service mover may cost less than a self-service mover. i've had this explained as i am a small move. just wait till they see the number of clothes i have. where in the world did i acquire so many clothes? and why do i feel emotionally attached to my clothing?
okay that's about it for thoughts at the moment.
i had two nightmares last night which just creeped me out:
i went home to visit my parents. they had been arguing and then my dad turned around and said that he never cared about me. it was just really odd; i kept counteracting his statements saying that he had to care. i didn't wake up from that dream, but i had an extremely uneasy feeling this morning when i did wake up.
the second dream was terribly strange too. i wasn't part of the dream. i was just watching from the outside. some woman (college-age) was babysitting and the mom came home. she must have been late because the babysitter was yelling at her for being late. the mom looked totally apologetic and then said that she would make it worth her while. i don't remember what happened afterwards, but the entire thing was just odd.
100% micromodel. i'm not sure what micromodel is but it's very thin and flows nicely. i also like the cut of the shirt as it falls nicely. i could stand to lose a bit of weight and it'd look even better (i haven't worked out all week). built-in bra camisole underneath micromodel shirts - nylon/spandex combination. i do like synthetics when they feel like this. spandex is a privilege not a right. i'd hope that i'm not abusing that... then jeans. strappy tan sandals. i'm not sure why i'm writing all this... i don't think anyone particularly cares, but i figured i'd go along w/ my material theme.
i started the morning off right by seeing a beagle puppy on the way to breakfast with becky. it was so cute...
i'm disturbed by kevin's discovery of possum fur nipple warmers. that's just wrong. i'm not even sure how the whole concept works. regardless wrong. just wrong.
jay & the guys at 619 threw an awesome birthday party tonight. we discovered grapefruit juice, rum, and peachtree schnapps tastes great together. i had about 3 of those... i was good it was in the span of 5 hours. i'm attempting to exercise self-control as last week I think I was drinking a tad too much or perhaps my method of drinking was incorrect; i'm not really sure. i wonder if i'll drink less in baltimore.
party highlights:
1. jay makes good drinks.
2. met a guy named dan (jay's roommate) who grew up in cy-fair and knows cynthia kao. weird.
3. saw a number of people from my past: rose & christine - from high school (Clements High); eric & craig - from Rice.
4. talked a bit with christine she has had encounters with my most recent escapade. it was chatting with her about it; she's a much sharper girl than me she figured out in about 5 mins what it took me a week or so to learn. i'm slow what can i say. for some reason it made me feel better that we both came to the same conclusion. (note to self: email christine for lunch/coffee this week)
5. saw jeanne for the first time since she's been back from Italy...
6. got to say hi to all the birthday people.
7. observed some very amusing flirting/picking up going on
8. congrats eric & steph
9. realized that i am indeed getting old as i'm starting to meet people younger than me at parties.
10. i like honey roasted peanuts and cheeseballs (not cheesy poofs in spherical form - cheese that's generally covered with nuts and served with crackers)
i had a lot of fun. i caught up with erice a bit. i haven't seen him in ages. seems he forgot that i was in redmond. hopefully i'll get a chance to catch up with him over these few months. he seems to be doing well. sounds like he goes to texas quite a bit. it was good seeing all these people. they introduced me to even more people. i think that's always a good thing right?
time for bed. night.
i'm definitely a material girl. i like certain materials... like lycocell, microfiber, cashmere, linens, anything that just feels good. it's not so much the style etc. a few weeks ago i bought a dress which had a nice cut and cute trim, but the material didn't feel right against my skin. so i had to return it. okay that's my only real thought for the night.
i've been in this strange mood today. it's like i want to be around people yet i want to be alone all at the same time. perhaps it's a watcher day. you know where you go out and just people watch. i do that a lot. i think that's where people get the impression that i'm quiet. i am quiet when i do that i'm watching, not interacting. you know just kind of sitting on the sidelines of life.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
box car racer - There is
this vacation's useless
these white pills aren't kind
i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
the days have come and gone
our lives when by so fast
i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more
...
those notes you wrote me
i've kept them all
i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
with every single letter in every single word
there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight, or will you think of me
will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
that there's someone out there who feels just like me
there is
I found an article today that explains everything! perhaps i should be getting more sleep. i guess it'll be easier to do as pretty much everyone i know is gone for some part of May and it looks like there won't be much going on throughout the month.
yes i have more than 4 GB of music. According to iTunes I have just over 10 GB of music. I have yet to get all the music from my old laptop. I'm about 70% of the way done there...
so yes i think it'll have to be the 15GB iPod. I mean I can't deal with static problems :(... now if someone could buy the case that kevin suggested...
i am addicted to mac & cheese as well as hot dogs too bad it wasn't mentioned in this report.
i'm going home today. one thing i've learned if nothing else is that i'm addicted to the internet.
for dennis - i did meet mr. masson. he's nice. i met several other people too and they were all nice. we've even determined my schedule for next year if i decide to come.
i hope i dont' get too claustrophobic on the plane. i tend to get quite anxious on planes now. i just don't like sitting for extended periods of time... i did buy earphones though so hopefully listening to music while reading may help... still gotta figure out 4 GB mini iPod or 15 GB regular iPod.
yesterday i did two things i've never done before: 1. picked a few locks and 2. highlighted someone's hair. adam was the lucky guinea pig to my little experiment. i think it worked out quite well. of course it does help that the color we chose was extremely subtle. no one has noticed thus far i think that's the effect he wanted though. as for 1. apparently (according to adam) this increases my attractiveness with guys. i'm not quite sure why picking a lock would be particularly attractive unless you were charlize theron in italian job... then i could understand.
went to visit school today. met the director and some professors. everyone is very laid back, but it's so strange being on a college campus. and these days everyone looks so young...
had a good talk with mom on relationships and dating today. i always feel better after talking about these things with her. i'm not sure why. i guess because my mom means so much to me. she still thinks that i should date irwin. maybe by age 32... :)
well i go home tomorrow. it'll be good to be home for an extended period of time. i think this proves that i would never survive the consulting lifestyle. i get sad when i'm far away consistently. it helps that i'm addicted to IM and most of my friends are on IM so i can keep in touch that way. a bit sad that i can't just go and hang out with them though :(.
i'm not used to houses being so close together. i'm not sure my mind will adjust to this nicely. i had a bit of a panic attack last night again. it's the first one i've had in a while. i'm not sure why i've suddenly been plagued with these things as an adult. i was fine when i was younger. i guess all the life changes will do that to you.
anyways it's gorgeous weather here 80 degrees and sunny. i hear it gets a bit warmer than this, but at least there's air conditioning everywhere. hopkins is significantly older looking than rice. it has a lot of red brick buildings and is also a lot bigger. i think i like the way rice looks better. i think there's something to be said about a small campus. we're going to go to the inner harbor this afternoon and tomorrow i'll meet with a few people from the department. tuesday is still up in the air. looks like there's a decent amount of food within walking distance from here though. it's a pretty cute neighborhood (federal hill).
does shopping count as exercise? i mean signing lots of credit card receipts is rather tiring. yes i'm being lazy. i don't want to exercise, but i'd like to have the effects of exercise, a nice toned body. i had the day off today. it was absolutely wonderful. i got dressed around 10am packed for my trip to baltimore and then returned a few things bon marche & gap. met becky for lunch downtown and then got my haircut. i highly recommend the gene juarez advanced training salon. my stylist was really nice and she was extremely attentive. then i went for a walk around the market. now i just have to take a nap before dinner & concert tonight. i'm sleepy.
i choose to believe in it.
i am currently feeling quite a bit tipsy. i've had 1. champagne 2. mike's hard lemonade and 3. part of a rum & coke. all in a span of less than an hr. more like 30 mins. i am not good at holding my alcohol. irwin's coming to pick me up soon... i think that's a good idea. life's been kind of strange lately.
now the question is mini iPod or 15 GB iPod... leaning towards mini... like that small size :D
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Your face—I see the hurt
Often stares me down, down
I can’t help but think
Our sacred hill fell down, baby
Unhealed history ’cause nothing’s right
I say that all you need is time
And maybe it’s right this time
And maybe it’s wrong next time
And I think so
She belongs to me
A-ha, I see the sun in your eyes
A-ha, I see my tears that you cry
A-ha, I see myself in your eyes
A-ha, I see the sun
The walls closing in
And I can’t catch my breath
Your eyes sunshine rain
I’ll love you till your death, baby
Unhealed history ’cause nothing’s right
I say that all you need is time
And maybe it’s right this time
And maybe it’s wrong next time
And I think so
You belong to me
ivy & i made caterpillar rolls last night which turned out quite well, though both of us now have a greater appreciation for the $10 caterpillar roll. it takes quite a bit of time & effort. I think total cost of supplies was pretty cheap though maybe about $10 to make 3 rolls. i've had sushi at least 3 times in the past week, so let's see if irwin can actually convince me to 1. eat out and 2. eat sushi. it's possible...
im leaving for baltimore on saturday. that's two trips in two weeks. i now understand the whole consulting thing getting very tiring. i'm not sure i could keep up with this amount of travel, though i think i would adapt (at the very least clothing wise).
Ivy & I both have caterpillar roll cravings. Odd. If I move who will eat sushi with me? At least I’ll be close to chick-fil-a. I think I want an avocado tree… mmm avocados. Going to California does not help with the avocado obsession either. They get to have all sorts of stuff with avocados: omelets, sandwiches, crepes, etc. yum. Here’s an interesting story on the Hass avocado.
I still really like the bay area. I’m not really sure why. I think because it’s a spread out area similar to Houston, but with so many more things to do. i was good i didn't check any email while i was there and kept my phone off most of the time. for some reason i think that contributed to feeling more relaxed. too much technology otherwise. i kind of like disappearing from the world.
at the moment i feel like i'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown. it's a strange feeling. i've felt it before. it's nothing particularly sad or happy... just emotionally charged. nothing interesting has happened to cause me to feel this way, perhaps it's my mind telling me it's time to go home.
courtesy of anthony... here it is. i've decided to play it over and over and over again. and if i could just get into dennis's office i'd put pictures of it all around. he is out of office in texas for a bit :D. I'm so evil.
kevin is giving me suggestions on how to still be able to drink coffee without getting fat. he knows that if i have coffee i'm wired for a good couple of hours. i've moved on from my previous worries. i still worry as always, but tis time for new ones. can't always worry about the same things now can we? that would get boring.
i've been sleeping relatively well this week which is great because i haven't slept well in a while. i'm forcing myself to use the phone less... i think dennis is right i'm going to develop brain cancer at this rate. i try using the hands free set but it picks up so much ambient noise that it can be difficult for the other person to hear me especially given my softer voice on the phone. i must be doing better time-wise on the phone b/c now i have 160 mins. left per day...
this was at the top of my homepage today... no more mochas for me. maybe i'll have to switch to learning how to drink black coffee.
liz phair... took this quiz courtesy of dennis. here's the results:
How quirkyalone are you?
Your score was 96. Very quirkyalone:
Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world. Celebrate your freedom on National Quirkyalone Day, February 14th!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I think that makes me happy. For the most part I think it is accurate. I'd rather be single than be unhappy dating. AJ says that I'm like a porcupine. Apparently this is from some 60s movie reference that of course i'm not going to get. Anyways the question goes 'how do porcupines mate?' 'carefully or not at all.' So is that an insult or a compliment? neutral? a simple observation?
I've always gotten that i'm like a cat. Never have I been likened to a porcupine. Sometimes I feel like a beached whale, but I think every girl has those days. Leaving Thurs. night for California... it looks like it's going to be sunny & warm there! Typical CA weather.
i read this random posting to a public folder today about fast seduction. it mentions this website. If anyone tries this stuff let me know how it goes, apparently there were some positive results from people here...
it's always weird to find out about exes dating. I'm not talking about the ones you still talk to on occassion, but the ones you've sort of lost touch with. there's the occassional IM, but really nothing to keep the two of you talking. it's not like it's particulary devastating; it's more of a realization that the world does not revolve around you and people move on. it's a good thing.
lately i've felt like an abstract painting exhibited in a realist art gallery. that's the best analogy i can come up for it. probably because i'm so amorphous and ambiguous right now while the whole world around me is so concrete so exact.
so many things are up in the air in my life right now. it's a sunny day in seattle (not warm, but sunny). i'm seriously thinking about going home and going running... or rollerblading... or walking... something outside. one very positive thing about the whole time change is that it stays lighter outside for longer. and with that i think i'm off to enjoy it.
which are sexier? i prefer anklets, but so many people have told me toe rings. i've worn both. i prefer anklets... some toe rings are cute but they tend to rotate around my toe and some of those little charms hurt when they're on the bottom of your foot.
i think my argument for anklets is that it makes the ankle looks thinner. toe rings don't really seem to enhance my toes any... mmm open toe shoe season!
lots and lots of tulips... tons of fields of tulips and colors. red, yellow, orange/red, purple, purple/white, maroon...
woke up early this morning and went to skagit valley (after a great breakfast made by Sheryl!). it wasn't too bad weather wise. it was grey in the morning, but it was party sunny in the valley. then we had afternoon tea at christie's tea cottage in burlington. it was pretty cute. the tea helped my tummy settle after last night's little episode with eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. note to self: cannot watch movies with that much camera movement. it just wasn't pleasant at all.
two wks and counting to irwin's birthday. still no idea what to get the guy. don't worry i'm thinking about it... he has some ideas, but nothing in the reasonable category. i'll figure it out soon enough. unfortunately i'll be out of town on the big day :(
so i read a blog today that said that he considered someone who was 5'5 1/2 and 125 lbs to be chunky. i must be really scarily obese then. even andy j agreed that i am indeed heavier than i look. oh well. i guess i could give up macaroni & cheese, but it's oh such ooey gooey yummy! i think this is my problem i get terribly lazy about exercising and then i love to eat. this is not an ideal combination. luckily most guys seem to be able to accept me for who i am...
i've turned off the annoying thing where you have to leave an email address... i didn't know i could turn it off before. so now if you want you can leave anonymous comments, though i kind of like knowing who leaves what comment.
dennis comes on sunday - i have to remember to pick him up from the airport... i'm so glad it's friday i need a weekend to relax... i've decided irwin stays awake much too late. he needs more sleep. i'm not sure how to induce sleep into irwin. all i know is i'm up at 10am on the weekends and he can sleep until 1pm sometimes 2pm.
the tulip festival begins this weekend. given the beautiful weather, maybe i'll head out there this weekend.