look work is in the news! i find the story amusing. i guess i'm still in awe that i work in such an anomalous group. lately the guys i've been meeting are totally analytical. they can put aside feeling simply based on their analysis of a situation. it amazes me. no matter how hard i try or understand the logic of the "right" thing to do, my feelings still permeate throughout me. i wonder if this is an indication of incompatibility?
so it's amusing reading my friends' weblogs, esp the ones in Houston right now. there apparently have been a couple star sightings and some plans to stake out places celebrities may be lounging. on some level, i'm jealous. on another level, i'm glad i don't have to deal with the traffic and mass influx of people.
next week i can start having fun again. well post statement of purpose writing. so goals: 1) wake up at 6:30am to either go skating or some form of working out 2) see more of my friends - i've been terrible at seeing people lately 3) eat out less, cook more - if you're in the area, maybe you can benefit from this... things i need to make: 1) cheesecake 2) lace cookies 3) wontons 4) fresh pasta 5) chocolate chip cookies 6) rice krispies treats
(5 & 6 need to be sent as a relief present to dan so he will actually eat something other than m&ms and coke - yes coke not soda not pop)
I went to get my haircut in Houston. I was just going to get a trim, and I made an appointment with my usual hair stylist. However, when I got there she hadn't arrived yet. I figured that since all I wanted was a *trim* it shouldn't be that difficult... never again will I trust a stranger with scissors. Yes I believe for however long I live one of two people will be able to cut my hair. Dave said "well you're only ever two weeks away from a bad haircut." Well I'm counting down the days. I'm on day 11. I actually had to go back to the haircut place after breakfast to have my usual stylist fix it. I was not a happy camper. I even ruined my mother's normally relaxing breakfast at Le madeleine to go back. Her description of the hair was: "it looks like a dog chewed the ends." See i was hardly overreacting. So my usual stylist fixed part of it, but now it's at that awkward length where it flips out... :( I actually had to spend time on my hair this morning... I usually just brush & go. I took out the flat iron *and* the hairdryer. It was an event. I'm not sure I can keep up with this amount of maintenance.
i'm dead tired. i cancelled my volunteering today because i'm not feeling terrific. i feel kind of guilty about this, but should it turn out that I'm actually sick it's probably a good idea for me not to be around kids. i'm thinking that it's more the waking up at 4am that's doing me in more than anything. i'm almost done with my work today and then i'm going home. hopefully tomorrow I will be all better.
i know, how dare i forget about the food! anyways, thus far I've had: fried okra (haha Travis!), dim sum, and cold peanut noodles (my fav)... i'm expecting to get some mexican food (though i'm not terrible fond so it wouldn't bother me not to). let's see i've also bought chinese bread to bring back (i hope it survives the plane trip). hmm i guess i haven't eaten that much yet... i need a bigger tummy to hold more food.
My brother & mom have decided that I am unnaturally pale. I'm trying to rectify the situation. I stood out in the sun today watching a Lunar New Year festival performance. I forgot how much fun those can be to watch. Afterwards we went for oh so yummy bubble tea! (not the normal bubbles, the smaller ones of course). Then we came home and I laid on the driveway in the hopes of tanning just a little so I look closer to pale and farther from death. (i'm not big on tanning, but i have seriously gotten sickly looking.)
I'm hoping to do a few things tomorrow: meet with a professor, get my haircut, get my watch band adjusted, get lunch w/ karen & andrew, see david (i owe him money), ice skate, ... hmm sounds pretty full already. i hope i get some relaxing in...
i found out in the magazine I read on the plane, houston has the largest asian population in the U.S. outside of New York City. i had no idea that it was greater than L.A. other things i've noticed about houston: there are a plethora of all-you-can-eat buffet places, "large" people, cheap hair cut places, and a wide variety of grocery stores! oh i have to remember to go shopping tomorrow too! i should write down a schedule... otherwise i'll never finish it all :). on tuesday i'll be at rice from 1pm-9pm if anyone wants to stop by the grand hall & visit me!
somewhat. i had a realization walking out to my car today that i am in a state of flux. you know the kind that prompts statements like "I can't believe how much I've changed." Suddenly I've become more... I'm not quite sure. Today I've almost come to accept the fact that I'm in a state like that when I was 12 yrs. old nothing fits exactly right... clothes are all too big or too small. Everything is sort of okay. Work, friends, life, etc. are all sort of okay.
Work though not as exciting as when I first started is still decent. Great manager, fun coworkers, etc. Now I just have to decide where I want my career to go that's the tough part.
I have great friends. They stick with me through all of my moods. They deal with me cancelling plans, spontaneously calling at 1am to go out, and my strange excitements over things like cooking utensils. Lots of them love to give me dating advice and most can keep up with my chattering.
Life is still busy. Not as busy as some that I've just met, but not totally quiet either. I think if I wanted to go out every night of the week, I could probably find stuff to do. Tuesdays is ballet class; Wednesdays volunteering at Hopelink. Maybe in February I'll start skating again on a regular basis. Possibly morning freestyles?
I'm going to Houston this weekend so that will get me out of the rain and gray for a little bit. Maybe it'll help improve my mood so things will be great and not just okay. <- Look Justin - optimism!
Gong xi fa cai! I'm a monkey and it's my year :) yes i've now given away my age. Here are some characteristics of me:
MONKEY -
Inventive, curious, quick-witted, scheming, versatile audacious, mischievous, resentful, energetic, humorous. They are energetic and develop personal loyalties.
Compatible marriage to: Rat, Dragon
Second Choice: Hare, Sheep, Dog
Incompatible marriage to: Snake, Boar, (worse) Tiger
According to this I need to find someone born in 1972 or 1976. Wow I think I know very few people in that age range. Okay so second choice 1975 or 1979. I think I know some people in that range... maybe. (So I'm not that desperate, I just find these things amusing - take it w/ a grain of salt.) Well hope it's a good new year for everyone!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Here's another description:
Persons born under this sign are usually successful in any field they choose. They are good at making deals and skillful in business diplomacy. Decision making is easy for them. They remember everything they read, and, consequently, are unusually well informed. They are allowed to pursue their own instinctive course in life, they stand a good chance of becoming famous. However, they tend to talk too much, driving friends away with their overlong explanations and endless chatter. They are sometimes contemptuous of people who are less gifted than themselves. Their inclination to appease rather than fight is a predominate characteristic.
at the post office. not a good way to start off the morning. i still haven't been able to eat normally. all food kind of just doesn't appeal to me at the moment and i normally love food. my vacations center around food. how sad. hopefully i get over it by the time i go to houston, b/c that would just be bad.
it's lunar new year's eve today! so everyone eat fish and have leftovers for tomorrow. oh and it's the year of the monkey (my year)! i.e. born in 1980 or if the age you're turning is a multiple of 12. we're going to have hot pot at tony's this year. i wonder if i'm too old to get hon bao (red packets w/ money) or have i reached that age where i'm supposed to be giving hon bao... time to call mom!
woke up in a fit of panic. i hate when i do that especially these days when i really don't have too much to be anxious about. most of my life has calmed down considerably. sure lots of it is in flux, but nothing is out of my control. i have alternatives for everything and people who care about me. this morning's was probably the scariest since previously i have always had a catalyst. i'm feeling a little better now. maybe it's a good time to become absorbed with work.
i still enjoy getting it. i'm not talking about the random mailers, coupons, endless catalogs, etc. i'm talking about the letter or card that someone took the time to write. i used to write by hand to several people now it's just one, but it really brightens my day to open the mailbox and see an envelope addressed to me that i know brings tidings of how my friends are doing.
maybe i just like snail mail because i like stationery. i have tons of the stuff. anytime i go back to taiwan i stock up. (the only problem being the address format there is different so i can never buy envelopes.) regardless i have black paper and cream pens. i have dark green paper for cream or metallic pens. i have paper w/ cute puppies on it. i have paper with flowers, bad english sayings, and winnie the pooh. i've gotten so much and snail mail has all but disappeared.
As I stood in the checkout line at Safeway this morning, I suddenly felt griped with fear and sadness. I've never had memories like this come back to me. I was reminded of my childhood when my grandfather & I used to go to the grocery store. Then I was reminded that he passed away last year. I wasn't really sure how I should grieve. I've never been good at coping with death; it seems so foreign. I'm not sure how this affects me, but I'm feeling a bit odd at the moment. It could just be the lack of sleep. It could be anything these days.
Studying for this test makes me feel like I should go back and repeat all of my education all over again. Seriously, this lack of comprehension and understanding of the English language must be some sort of sign that I read/write at the 3rd grade level. Well hopefully with a little more practice it'll get better.
At midnight I found myself with immense energy. Went to bada lounge for a little bit to sit with some people I don't really know. I met a few new people. They all seemed nice, but it's hard to talk to people and really get to meet them in those bar settings, esp. bada because of the loud music. My throat hurts slightly from trying to talk to people. Irwin came to get me from downtown since I didn't want to drive James gave me a ride there. Irwin & I went for dessert at B&O (yummy New Orleans Torte!). Then I decided I should crash for the night so I can get up early tomorrow and study. All in all a good Saturday night.
In the last month, several people have told me that they don't understand blogs. Well I keep one for several reasons 1) I frequently suffer from insomnia and at 3am I expect none of my friends to stay up listening to my complaints (except for Irwin - Irwin will always listen to my complaining no matter what hour) 2) For those I don't see on a frequent basis, if they care to know what/how I'm doing they can read here 3) It's a convenient place for me to track random thoughts I have, e.g. where to travel this year. There it is the 3 reasons I keep a blog for those who were wondering. :)
You know as I've seen a few old friends lately, I wonder how many people read my weblog. At any rate, friendster is really fun to click through. Apparently some of my friends know Mike's friends. That's kinda cool. There are some interesting characters on there too.
So highlight of my day. After a long day, I like to have a class of cold water. It's quite refreshing. I like it cold because I can feel it flowing down. In the same respect I like a nice coffee/hot chocolate/hot tea etc. on cold days because it warms my entire body. That's about it. Nothing spectacular. The work day was forgettable. Oh and this morning it wasn't raining. Yup I was sure I'd have to suffer through another 2 wks of rain but this morning was simply gray, no rain! I wonder how they diagnose seasonal depression. Do you have to go once in the winter and once in the summer? That's an awfully long time to wait to find out if you suffer from an illness.
If anyone knows/sees Dennis (not Lu), they should give him a big hug today. I think he's had one of those weeks. (Give Dennis Lu a hug too I haven't seen/talked to him lately either.)
Okay now I've rambled on long enough. The weekend awaits. Luckily I haven't scheduled myself solid the entire weekend. I need a quieter one.
it was an awful day at work. the kind where you go... seriously there must be something else out there. Yes i know the mood comes & goes. Today it decided to be a little black rain cloud above my head. You know the only thing that made it worse was people adding their own little black rain clouds to the one that i woke up with. i seriously wanted to take a sick day, my stomach was killing me this morning. it's still unhappy but less so right now. i'm not sure if I picked up Ivy's cough, but I was coughing today. let's hope not. i hate being sick, i whine and whine and become completely intolerable. I totally don't blame people for not wanting to be around when I'm sick. To minimize damage I think I'm going to go home, crawl into bed, read about the oh so exciting world of standardized testing, and then sleep. i need a hug.
i feel myself getting older, thinking about things more responsibly, the consequences of my actions etc. the entirety of which i cannot fathom. each day i work, i come in, i walk around the halls, but really to what end? is this really what being an adult is all about? sleep->work->hobby->sleep interspersed with eating of course. i've heard of other people's travels and i'm completely envious. i want to be able to cast aside societal constraints and give up everything i have except the bare necessities. be able to place all my worldly possessions into one pack and travel the world. jim once said to me i had to just take that leap. if only i had enough confidence in myself to know that i would come out okay and a stronger person at that. for now i relish in the comfort that is my life. a touch of sadness, but with less worry and more in the range of anxiety that i can handle.
So thus far here are vacation possibilities for this year:
International
Japan
Spain
France
Taiwan
Domestic
Baltimore, MD
New York City, NY
New Jersey
If anyone wants me to visit, you should let me know. I'm already going to Houston in a few weeks...
I just want to keep a list of possibilities so once I have a reprieve from work I don't draw a blank of where to go.
my presentation is in less than 2 hrs... ugh. i'm not looking forward to this. looking over notes... getting nervous. i hate getting nervous. usually i practice a ton beforehand, but since i was having fun in california i procrastinated :). ah the sacrifices we make.
being punched by a girl and whining. i didn't even hit hard. i already miss the sun and it wasn't even that cloudy out this morning. latest gripe: parking at work. for some reason today was just a bit absurd in terms of how long it took to find parking. i even came in "early."
now i just have to finish that presentation...
just got back from san fran. flight was relatively uneventful though they did make us go from gate 71->76->71. And 71 & 76 were not close by :(. i was exhausted. slept the entire way on the plane... woke up when we got to seattle.
one thing i realized today:
i trust based on pure faith in humanity; yet, i've been trampled on so many times... why do i even bother anymore? my best guess: b/c 1 in 5 times yields a friend for life.
MacWorld was a lot of fun. Met lots of very cool people and got to enjoy some warm California sun (well for the portion of time I wasn't in the booth). People seem really excited about the product.
I decided to stay the weekend in California relaxing in Santa Cruz with Dan. Saturday morning woke up had a slow morning and met Trish, Justin, and Hunter for breakfast at the Walnut Ave. Cafe. Yummy avocado & mushroom scramble. Strolled along the main strip of Santa Cruz for a bit and checked out the record store & book store. Came back started watching "Enter the Dragon" (awful 70's acting w/ bruce lee kicking butt). Then went to the beach where Dan surfed and I read for a good part of the afternoon. I just love the sun. I even got to use the new sunglasses I got from Irwin! :) it's the little things that make me happy.
All in all a nice quiet Saturday out of the cold... Not looking forward to going back to it tonight :(.
Okay so I'm a little behind so there's going to be a series of posts about my oh so exciting adventures. Being from Texas for a good portion of my life, I have never had to drive in snow until this past Tuesday... now I had a 9am meeting that was subsequently cancelled *after* I got into work, but I had already made it so I stayed. The snow really started coming down by that point and I decided to just wait and hope it cleared. Some coworkers & I decided to try and build a snow man but the snow was too light & fluffy. We ended up with a snow bug instead :). Around 2pm I went home and convinced Ivy to help me build a real snowman. So we went outside and attempted again, but it turned out to be more of a snow demon with claws. :) oh well.
According to this article in CNN now we're the 2nd fattest, right behind Detroit.
Okay so I no longer live there... but still there is something to saying you come from the fattest city in the nation. It's always a good excuse for eating anything deep fried... (I grew up eating this way, really I did).
Let's see Houston now vies with Los Angeles for smoggiest and now with Detroit for fattest! I did read an article recently that McDonald's launched some sort of health kick in Houston too offering low fat choices and some other stuff for healthier living. ah the irony.
It's weird... when I'm driving a song will come on the radio and it's lyrics just touch me. Yes usually these are bubble gum pop songs, but what can I say I relate well to them... Darin left an awesome testimonial for me on friendster. It brought a big smile to my face and made me happier than I've been in a while. It just reminded me of who I was and who I am.
Anyways here's the latest song:
Erika - I Don't Know
In my soul , In my soul ....
I am not a baby anymore
I am not a same sin as before
I see it in the mirror , in my room
And i can feel it stronger in my soul
But I don't know if its the right day , for this words
Now I see things I didn't see before
I need an explanation, tell me more
Why am I alone now? I don't know
How can I live forever? I don't know
Where can I find Heaven? I don't know
What is going to happen? I don't know
Why am I alone now? I don't know
I don't know x2
In my soul, In my soul...
I live it for my darling , and I will
That am I leaving problems down our feets
I want to live my feelings day by day
I like to give emotions , in my way
But I don't know if its the right day, for this words
Now I see things I didn't see before
I need an explanation, tell me more
Why am I alone now? I don't know
How can I live forever? I don't know
Where can I find Heaven? I don't know
What is going to happen? I don't know
Why am I alone now? I don't know
In my soul, In my soul...